Monday, February 25, 2008

A not-so-fun post

The Yucky Emotions...

A frantic, not-fun night here at the LeirSickle household. Bannanarama was cleaning her pet snake, Nagini's cage. Nagini was resting happily in a dishtub. Then, bannanarama turned around and Nagini was...gone. Disappeared, escaped, vanished, etc.

We spent a good two hours looking through the kitchen, but Nagini is a garter snake. Small, fast, and capable of winding herself into really small spaces and getting through really small holes. Suffice it to say, the missing reptile was not recovered.

Bannanarama is heartbroken. She misses her snake, for which she performed all of the caretaking duties, and for whom she had great affection. She feels guilty and is blaming herself for not keeping a close enough eye on the snake. (Ironically, of course, this happened as she was perfroming one of her care-taking duties.)

And there is not a damn thing I can do about it. She is sad, she feels bad, and that is that. I want so very badly to make it all better, but I can't. I can hug her, and comfort her, and remind her to cherish all the good memories she has, but nothing will make the hurting fade, except time.

All of those yucky emotions - sadness, grief, guilt, anger, fear...our children are going to feel them. And we can help them navigate through, but there is no band-aid, no medicine to make it stop. We feel what we feel. We are going to have to deal with these emotions all of our life, because we don't live in a bubble. I can only help my children with those emotions, I can't make those emotions disappear. And dear Maude, is it ever hard.

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